Friday, October 25, 2013

Change at the rate of PAIN

I was not willing to change until the pain got too great.  When family and friends ask me to do an intervention on a family member, they want me to be the tough one while they keep insulating their loved one from the pain.  Why should they change if nothing is encouraging them to change.  Most people will change when presented with two options:

  1. The pain gets so great that they are willing to do anything to releave it. 
  2. The reward for the change is so good that it is better to change than to remain the same.
An intervention is simple the two motivations being used in various ways to get people to change from a self-destructive behavior to a self-affirming one.  However, often what is needed is pain and instead we give our family members love and understanding.  "I know you didn't mean to smash your car driving high for the third, no, fourth time this year, but mommy still loves you..." Great, no pain, no change.

My sponsor told me one thing that I will never forget "Why would you deny anyone, anyone, the pain that taught you so much."  It did.  It continues to teach me. 

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