The last day I drank, I begged God that if He could take away
this self-centered self-destruction, I would do whatever I was asked to
do. Doing interventions and helping
others get clean and sober seems to be what I am destined to do...because I am damn good at it. So far, I have not lost one yet.
I believe that anyone can
beat his or her addiction with the right treatment and the right attitude. Most
people suffering from addiction want to change; they simply cannot imagine the
way out. For most of us, our addictions
worked in the beginning. We really,
really liked our addicted life – even when little things began to go
wrong. Our addiction was the one thing
we could always count on. We need 5
things to change – A wake up call, a willingness to change, hope that change is
possible and good, something to take charge of, and permission to dream again. A good intervention shows
the addicted loved one that his or her lives are in crisis and their current
lifestyle is unsustainable, that the problems they have are solvable, that we
know a way out that they are going to like, and that life can be truly
wonderful again – an absolute adventure!!!
Why do
I need a professional interventionist?
If your loved one is caught
up in a destructive behavior, such as addiction to drugs or alcohol, gambling,
internet addiction or an eating disorder, these destructive behaviors will not
improve by ignoring the problem and hoping it gets better, or by covering up or
by shielding the loved one from the consequences of their actions. In virtually all cases, by the time you
realize there is a problem, the behavior has been going on for much longer than
you think and is always much worse than you think. Moreover, when an individual is caught up in
addictive behavior, the very nature of the addiction is to lie, to deny,
minimize and hide it. Addiction is often called a disease of deception for the very reason that
the disease dictates the terms of disclosure and behavior. Many times it takes a professional to break
through the denial and delusion.
But why do I need a professional interventionist?
1. The Professional speaks the
language of addiction, the language of normal people, and the language of
recovery. Often the Professional
Interventionist serves as an interpreter.
The Interventionist is usually, or is best when, he or she is a
recovering addict or alcoholic and understands the language of addictive
thinking. Examples of addictive thinking
include statements such as “I have been lying to many people about my drinking,
but if I go to treatment to get help when I am really not an alcoholic, that
would really make me a liar and I need to be honest now” or “Why should I make
any changes? I am not the one with the
problem; they are. When others make the
appropriate changes, I won’t need to drink or use any other drug.” Often the family gets so frustrated at the
addict or alcoholic that they either explode in rage or give up – the
professional understands what the addictive thought process is and can
communicate it to both parties.
2. The family is susceptible to
emotional blackmail. Often the addict or
alcoholic is highly manipulative and can often make the family members feel
guilty for some imaginary or real excuse for their behavior, often blaming the
family for some wrong that causes the loved one to drink or drug. Many times
the manipulations are subtle and easily effective when the family is sued to it
and the family patterns.
3. The family has often been
enabling the addict or alcoholic and cannot change their own behavior to see
what the right solutions are. Addiction
is a family disease and everyone’s perceptions are altered by the drugs or
alcohol. The fact is that everyone is
sick and everyone suffers from the addiction.
The addict or alcoholic simply has the closest relationship to the
substance. The Professional
Interventionist can see in which ways the family enables the loved one and in
which ways the loved one is manipulating the family.
4. The family lacks credibility
because they have not been through treatment themselves. Often no immediate
family member is in recovery or gone to treatment. Frequently, the addict or alcoholic will
deflect criticism and attacks by family members by telling them that they know
nothing about addiction so why should he or she listen to anything the family
says. Contrarily, the addict or
alcoholic will accuse other family members of having a substance abuse problem
or other problem worse than he or she has.
The addict or alcoholic will also accuse others “You take pills” or “You
drink more than I smoke daily!” The
Professional can accurately defend the family and return the emphasis on the
loved one.
The main
reason that the loved one does not want to get help or go to treatment is
because he or she is afraid of the unknown – of what will happen. The
Professional Interventionist knows what is going to happen in treatment and
what recovery
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