Halloween - A good time to think about death - Tragedy or miracle

Interventions help us Overcome Obstacles when we need a helping hand, some hope or inspiration

Getting an Addicted Loved One into Treatment

Although I have only been doing interventions for the past eight years, with about an 18 month break in 2007-2008, I am still surprised how different each intervention is and how similar they all are.  I can never say "this was just like the intervention I did in _______".   Each intervention is as unique as each person and each family has their own dynamic.  But the goals of all interventions are the same - to get the addicted loved one to agree to some action - treatment, therapy, or program - to help address the addiction.  There are other goals that are almost as important:

1. To unite the family together to show support and healing.
2. To break through the walls of denial and delusion.
3. To work together instead of on a 1:1 basis where the addicted loved one cannot manipulate, lie about another family member, or triangulate people.
4. To help the addicted loved one face reality and the existence of a chemical-dependency problem.
5. To give the addicted loved one and family members the information needed to accept help.
6. To offer hope to the addicted loved one and the family and options for a happier, healthier life!!

There are many professional interventionists that charge various rates, but a good place to start is an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting.  It is important not to confuse Nar-Anon with Narcanon.  Narcanon is a drug and alcohol rehab treatment program run by the Church of Scientology. 

Time takes time

TIME = Things I must Earn.  People suffering from addiction and mental health issues are really like people that have a really, really bad flu.  It affects their mood, their perception of reality, and their sense of what is important.  Because they are sick, they are preoccupied with themselves and obvious to others.  This is the nature of addiction - the perfect predator. 

Recovery takes time.  TIME is an acronym for "things I must earn." When I got sober, I so much yearned for my life back, my spouse, my career,  my home, my things...It has taken a long time.  I had to earn this life that I have today - your loved one will too.  Encourage, but for God's sake, let them do it.  It is a journey that should not be robbed from them.   What you can do is encourage, love, and pray for them.  But their time, like my time, I must earn myself.

Change at the rate of PAIN

I was not willing to change until the pain got too great.  When family and friends ask me to do an intervention on a family member, they want me to be the tough one while they keep insulating their loved one from the pain.  Why should they change if nothing is encouraging them to change.  Most people will change when presented with two options:

1. The pain gets so great that they are willing to do anything to releave it. 
2. The reward for the change is so good that it is better to change than to remain the same.

An intervention is simple the two motivations being used in various ways to get people to change from a self-destructive behavior to a self-affirming one.  However, often what is needed is pain and instead we give our family members love and understanding.  "I know you didn't mean to smash your car driving high for the third, no, fourth time this year, but mommy still loves you..." Great, no pain, no change.

My sponsor told me one thing that I will never forget "Why would you deny anyone, anyone, the pain that taught you so much."  It did.  It continues to teach me. 

Running 13 races 13 miles long in 2013

Emmanuel Jal - International Hip Hop Artist and Peace Activitist

The first race I ever ran was a 5 K River City Run (11-01-2008) in my parent's winter home, DeBary, Florida.  I had never done one before, but I did it and it was really great when it was over.  So, I did a few more, and in December, 2008, I ran a 5 K race in Orlando with the OUC Half Marathon.  I saw people lining up and thought, "OMG, they are going to run 13 miles??? Are they crazy???" Then, in 2009, one year later, I ran that half marathon.  I couldn't beleive that I did it.  I did it. 

On January 10, 2010, I ran my first full marathon - the Walt Disney World Marathon in Orlando, Florida. I did not do well, but I finished. I never, never, never imagined I could run a full marathon, but I had two things - 1) a burning desire to do something noble after losing my career, my money, my life partner and my self-respect, and 2) I had the music of Emmanuel Jal on my iPod and when I listened to it, I could run for miles.

In February, 2010, I became Facebook friends with Emmanuel Jal and we would chat. He invited me to go to the Clinton Global Initiative in March, but the volcano in Iceland grounded Jal in London and he could not attend. Also, in February, I decided to run the Chicago Marathon which was going to take place on 10-10-10. That date will never come again until 2110. So, I decided to raise money for Emmanuel Jal's charity - GUA Africa. Gua means peace in Jal's home language, Nuer.

The following year, I decided to run 11 marathons, half and full, for GUA Africa. In 2012, I ran 12 full marathons. I thought I would stop after that, but I cannot give it up. It makes me feel so good about myself; it is one of the few things that doesreally make me happy and proud. 



Kids benefiting from GUA Africa, South Sudan

This year, I was running the St. Pete Beach Classic and I thought "I should run 13 halves because that would be 13 x 13.1 x 13 - 13 halves (13.1) in 2013 and try to raise moneyfor GUA Africa by getting 1000 or even 100 people to donate $13.00. So that is the goal...check out my website at www.runforguaafrica.com.

Perseverance